Soft Sign and Slow Blade
by cookieandjamgods
Summary: "If you truly wanted her gone, you would've killed her a long time ago, right?"  Fem!Shizuo, Fem!Izaya   Shizaya


A/N : Shizuka = Shizuo, Kanra = Izaya. Told from first person! Shizuka point of view.

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><p>It's aggravating sometimes, I think, to be a woman.<p>

Women are expected to put much more into their appearance. Hair, makeup, clothing, shoes, everything has to be perfect and matching for women to look good for the day. Ah, some might say "hey, quit being such a generalizing bitch," but for every woman who throws on whatever she has in the closet to wear, there's probably another woman who wakes up hours ahead of time to get 'ready'. Unfortunately, I fall under the latter category. I've tried before to not give a damn about my appearance, but if I don't take the time with how I look ,I don't feel good the whole day.

Not putting the time in for my looks just puts me in a shitty mood, especially if my hair ends up falling in my face because of not pulling it back while running after that _person._

But hey, if you can make the day in jean and a t-shirt ladies, more power to you. Some girls even look better that way...

"Achoo!" Wrinkling my nose due to accidently inhaling my perfume, I waited a few seconds for the tingling feeling to pass. The perfume smells nice [can't beat sunflower scent, thank you Kasuka!] but it still sucks if it gets in my nose. "Damn." After that I grab my sunglasses, cigarettes, and lighter before giving myself one last look in the mirror.

There were bags underneath my eyes, and my hair needed re-bleaching. Faint lines were beginning to form at the lower sides of my mouth, from frowning I'd guess, or so Shinra likes to say. That didn't worry me too much, because those are all problems I can fix at some point. "Just gotta try not frowning so much…" Pulling a fake smile, I winced at the sight. "Ugh, looks so damn unnatural."

Okay, okay, I'm going to stop ogling myself in the mirror now and head to work! Last thing I want to worry about is whether or not I'm becoming vain.

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><p>"Morning, Tom."<p>

Tom put out his cigarette once he saw me. "You're late." He didn't sound too angry about my tardiness, though. "Did anything happen this morning?"

"No, nothing happened." Seeing him smoking made me itch to smoke as well, but I refrained. I was on my last pack for the week, and was determined to cut back. Kasuka is definitely the inspiration behind that want. Crafty guy, telling me he worries about my health. "Just lost track of time, I guess. I'm not that late, am I?"

He shook his head no and smiled, one of those really weird smiles he's been getting quite often lately. If he wasn't my employer I would have asked why he'd been smiling like a creep the past few days, but whatever.

"You're only about ten minutes late. We don't have a full day of work anyway, so it doesn't matter."

"Great! Where do we go first?"

Tom _is _actually a really cool guy, one of the few men I'd consider dating, even if I'm a little repulsed by men. (It doesn't help that I'm exposed to some real scummy guys while on the job, either.) He didn't even go through an asshole phase in middle school, and boys in middle school were little bastards.

"We'll be stopping by a pet store that isn't too far." When we started heading off, he eyed my heels. "Still haven't bought any comfortable shoes, I notice."

"Hmm? My brother bought these for me. Besides, I like them, and I'm supposed to try to make myself tall and imposing, right?"

He didn't appear too convinced. "It can't be easy to walk or run in them. I worry you'll end up tripping sometimes, what with you always…" He seemed to catch himself and laughed. "Forget it. You look good and tall in them, and I guess that's what counts."

"There you go censoring yourself again. I guess you have to be careful around me, hmm?" I winced at how angry that sounded. It was supposed to come off as a joking tone. "Meh. What's the name of the person we're meeting up with?"

"Nakamura Kimiko."

"Ah. A woman." Dealing with men or women wasn't much of a problem for me. If you don't pay up, you get the same treatment, and it doesn't matter what gender you are. Even if the women became really bothersome at times, especially after the rumor went around that I was a lesbian. They would try to sweet talk their way out of paying, but none of them were ever really my type. [I'm actually bisexual, but don't make a big deal out of it.]

We didn't talk again until we arrived at the pet store, probably because Tom didn't want to piss me off. It bothered me, but what could I do?

"Ikebukuro Deluxe Pet Shop. Kind of a generic name." I noted, looking through the window to see several dogs and cats wiggling around in cages.

When we entered the store, there were people who recognized us. Some whispered, some were loud, but all of them said the same thing, _"It's Shizuka-", _speaking my name as if I were a fabled monster. Ignoring them, I stayed next to Tom as he headed to the front counter.

Behind the counter was a woman with bright red streaks in her hair. I was surprised not to see contacts ; her eyes were a dark brown color. One hand was covered with silver and gold bands while the other was bare. She stared out at us from behind red rimmed glasses, adjusting a dark blue tank top that had a worn nametag that identified her as the debtor we were there for.

"It's you." Her voice was flat, which was surprising. "What are you doing here?"

"I gave you an extension on your debt earlier, Ms. Nakamura. I've come to collect." said Tom with a smooth, calm voice that was common for his job. "Do you have the money?"

"Yeah" She gave me a cursory glance before looking back at Tom. "I'll go get it."

Ms. Nakamura went away, to a back room in the store. "She's not coming back with the money." Call it a gut feeling, but I can tell the difference between who is ready to pay and who isn't, and Ms. Nakamura didn't seem too eager to part with her money. Maybe she had a horde of gangsters in the back playing cards she was going to call on. Or is that sort of thing only in the movies?

"Hopefully you're wrong."

"Hn." Not that I didn't hope I was wrong. To be honest, I hate violence.

A few minutes later, Mrs. Nakamura came back with, as expected, two bulky males who looked like they took themselves very seriously. One of them was slightly taller than the other, and the shorter one had a tattoo of a dolphin on his forearm. I wonder how sober he was for that inking.

"Mrs. Nakamura," I said in a genial tone, "do these two men have the money we've come for?"

"No." That deadpan voice, it reminded me of Kasuka's, even if I hated being reminded of him by someone who was in criminal dealings. "Sorry."

The two men said the typical tough-guy crap about not wanting to make a scene and that Tom and I should just go on our way. They wouldn't want to hurt a _lady_, after all. Being the way I am, I pretended I didn't hear them, and turned to Tom with a sigh.

"Do you think they forgot the money in the back room?" My voice was loud. Most of the people in the store had cleared out, already aware that there would be a fight. Crowds do love a show, so that was unexpected, but I was glad. I would hate to hurt anyone by accident.

The shorter man went to 'escort' Tom out of the building, and Tom complied, probably due to persuasion by blade.

"Come on," The taller man insisted. "why don't you two just leave and forget this ever happened? His right hand was in his pocket. He had pretty gray eyes with brunette hair, and might have been decent looking if it weren't for his teeth rotting out of his mouth.

"No." He gripped my wrist with a surprising amount of strength and tried to drag me to the door. "What ARE you doing?" Keeping my voice even, I allowed him to take me closer to the door. "Are you…are you trying to make a scene? Oh, I could DIE of embarrassment. Wait a minute." Surprise showed on his face when he suddenly couldn't drag the _lady _towards the door so easily anymore. "You're trying to make me die of embarrassment, is that it?" My voice grew louder, angrier. "You're trying to make me DIE! I guess if I make you die now, that'll be okay, because you tried to kill me!"

He appeared confused and partly amused, mostly due to his belief that he had the upper hand.

His amusement went away in the time it took for my fist to knock the teeth out of his head. I rubbed my fist as he crumpled to the floor.

The other one with Tom saw what I had done to his friend and lunged at me, blade now in his hand. A smarter move would have been to threaten Tom's life, but whatever.

Only a few seconds went by before I sent him flying into the shelves, the pet supplies being scattered on the ground. Animals were barking, meowing, and I think I heard clucking from somewhere in the back of the store.

". . ."

When I saw Ms. Nakamura standing there like she was completely innocent, I wanted to snap her in half, but Tom put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently.

"That's good enough, Shizuka. I think she understands. Besides, you don't want to end up hurting any of the animals, do you?"

"Feh."

Ms. Nakamura stared at the shelves that were knocked over. Probably thinking about what a pain in the ass it would be to fix everything back. Slowly, she reached into her back pocket, pulling out a small leather wallet as Tom brushed himself off. Doing what she should have done in the first place, Mrs. Nakamura paid Tom, and we left on our way.

"…" It was impossible to not feel Tom staring at me as we walked to the next pick-up. "…What the fuck are you looking at, Tom?" My fingers went for the cigarette pack in my pocket, and I didn't deny myself the pleasure of a smoke.

"You seem stressed today. Has anything happened?"

"Nope." A puff of smoke escaped my lips, and I felt my nerves unclench. "I said before, nothing has happened that's out of the ordinary."

That's when I saw her. The person that brought me so much rage that even nicotine couldn't calm me down. She hadn't noticed me or Tom yet, fur lined coat blowing out behind her. This was my chance to finally catch her and crush her like the pest she was.

Taking my newly lit cigarette out of my mouth, I crushed it into the ground. Tom knew what I was doing when he saw who I was staring at.

I lunged for her, ready to beat her into the ground. There wasn't even the customary greeting of calling her out for being in Ikebukuro _yet_ again. People parted for me as I ran. I came close to her, grabbed her raven black hair, slammed her head into the concrete, and…

Holy shit. She's down.

For once in my life, the flea hadn't seen me coming.

It was almost anti-climatic, her lying on the ground, knocked out, head bleeding. Her chest still bobbed up and down, clearly visible by those skin tight shirts she was always wearing. The passerby glanced at the scene but didn't bother stepping in.

She's down.

This was my chance…my chance to finally crush the life out the flea, the person who caused so much trouble in my life, who brought me so much rage.

Rage that seemed to slowly dissipate at the sight of her passed out on the ground.

"Of course, you could even take this away from me, Kanra-chan." I muttered, placing a foot on her chest. There was a small crowd forming around us, recognizing who we were. Tom was watching, cigarette in mouth. He seemed to be waiting for the expected, for me to crush Kanra, like I should've already done. I pressed down with my foot, but I began to feel sick at what I was doing.

Victory should not make a person feel ill.

"Son of a BITCH, son of a fucking—"A small pool of blood was forming at the base of Kanra's skull.

Briefly, I considered leaving her there, but the thought came to mind of how many other people were out to get her, and some of them would try to do disgusting, vile acts to Kanra…

"I hope you're in a coma forever." Grunting, I patted down Kanra for her blade just in case she was playing around and tried to spring to life later. Not a movement. I found the blade tucked away in her skirt and pocketed it before slinging Kanra over my shoulder, much to the surprise of the now larger crowd.

"I'll call you later."

Tom nodded, raising an eyebrow as I began to head for Shinra's house to drop off the nuisance. The crowd parted for me, a few shocked faced watching as I went away. I would have murdered the person who even acted as if they would attack me at that moment.

"This is bullshit."

What was I doing? I could call Celty to pick her up.

With my free hand, I pulled out my cell phone and called Celty, only to hear Shinra's bubbly voice on the voicemail. Hanging up in disgust, I continued walking. Luckily Shinra wasn't that far away.

"I have to WALK you there, flea? Myself? I'll have to resist the urge to throw you into traffic." Kanra didn't reply, her head lightly bobbing against my back, getting blood all over my new vest. Damn it all.

"Kasuka just bought me this vest." Attempting to growl, I furrowed my brow once unable to work up a rage. Uneasiness was firm in my chest, and I wondered, not for the first time, why the hell I hadn't stomped Kanra's chest in.

"Do you see what trouble you are?" My voice went soft, which was worrisome. I gritted my teeth and turned the corner, wishing I had my hands free for a cigarette.

"What a pleasure to see you, Shizu-"

Shinra wasn't able to complete his greeting after I flung Kanra at him.

"Why the _hell _is Celty's phone off?"

"What happened to her?" Shinra asked, ignoring my question as he rolled Kanra off of him. "Did you do this…? She's missing teeth, bleeding badly-"

"Do I look like I give a fuck?"

"Well, if you didn't care, why bring her?"

"I don't know!"

Shinra took a deep breath. "Okay. So, obviously, there was an argument between the two of you-"

"I ran up behind her and slammed her head into the pavement." My fingers fumbled with my cigarette carton and lighter.

"Um." Well, Shinra actually looked speechless for once. That would be a first for the hyperactive physician.

"I have no idea why I didn't kill her." Filling my lungs with sweet, wonderful nicotine, I took a seat on the couch while Shinra moved her to the 'patient' room. "I should have. I really fucking should have. Ikebukuro would be peaceful without her stirring up trouble."

"Maybe you really couldn't stomach the idea of her finally being gone?" The sound of Shinra getting out supplies came from the other room.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I mean, you talk about wanting her dead all the time, and it's not as if you don't know where she lives. If youtruly wanted her gone, you would've killed her a long time ago, right?"

The side of my head begins to throb. "Shit, you're right. I mean, I have tried, but I ended up having to go somewhere else." Taking another drag off my cigarette, I sighed. "You know, I really don't like violence, Shinra, but when it comes to _her_, I lose my mind."

"She probably feels the same way towards you." I have no clue in what way Shinra wanted me to take that statement. Reassuringly? Whatever he intended the meaning to be, it managed to make the headache worse. "You two have a really chaotic dynamic. I think the both of you would be bored without the other."

"Seriously, Shinra, what the hell are you trying to say?"

"Just ignore me, Shizuka. I'm doing nothing but my usual rambling anyway~" The doctor then managed a grating, bemused laugh that led to a punched hole in the coffee table in front of me. "Oh, that wasn't the coffee table, was it?"

Slowly, I rose from the couch and went to the room where Shinra was dealing with Kanra. Seeing Kanra lying so deathly still on the hospital cot made me nauseous. Shinra didn't look up as he stuck an I.V into Kanra's vein. My heels seemed unnaturally loud as I walked toward her for a closer look. Without being completely aware of what I was doing, I wrapped my right hand around her neck. ". . ."

"Are you going to kill her?"

Shinra smiled at me, moving the I.V closer to the bed.

"I should." My head was pounding as I tightened my grip on Kanra's throat. It would be so easy. All I had to do was strangle her, and there would be absolutely no resistance. "I should…"

The door to the Shinra's home opened, and in stepped Celty. I took my hand off Kanra's neck and moaned, putting the hand on my temple. When she came into the room, Celty didn't even need a head for me to know that she was surprised.

"Why was your phone off, Celty?" I questioned irritably, taking the cigarette out of my mouth. "I tried to call you to pick up the flea." The dullahan took out her phone and began typing.

"_I was out on a job and couldn't afford any distractions…What on earth happened?"_

"I finally had the chance to kill her and I didn't."

"_Honestly, I'm glad."_

"I'm not." I needed to get out of that place. What reason did I have for sticking around any longer? "Anyway, I need to get back to my job. Talk to you later."

Oh, I couldn't forget. Pulling out Kanra's flickblade, I handed the weapon to Celty. "Give that to her when she finally wakes up."

"_Why give it back to her…? Don't you want to keep it?"_

"I don't steal, even if it is the flea."

Without even reading her reply, I left, rubbing the side of my head to attempt to keep the pounding from escalating.

Maybe not at that moment, but I knew at some point in the future, letting Kanra live would end up coming back to bite me in the ass.

". . ."

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Tom's number for the next pick-up location.

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><p>AN : I know nothing about anything.

If you want more of this say so, or call me a cunt in the reviews, whatever floats your boat.


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